i m so sick and tired of my lifeee..
*sob sob*.. i m very sad.. i dun wanna live the life i'm living.. i m so sad.. i cant believe everythg's crushing me telling me to give up.. i m soo sad and i juz wanna run away frm my home run away frm my probs.. i donno.. i juz wanna flood this world wif tears of grieve.. i really cant handle the stress i m going thru rite now.. is lke my results are so poor.. its giving me alot of stress.. my parents r so mad at me all the time.. on top of tt.. dey think of me as a dumb gal who noes nth but rebel.. my bro juz detests me.. to him.. i m a chao ah lian.. no ones unds the sadness overwhelming my little heart.. i cry in my pillow every nite.. but wad help does it gimme..??
i m even sadden when ppl strt pressurizing me.. how abt shawn? i donno wad i m doing to him.. he has gone totally out of his mind.. and he did it bcoz of me.. why? is it worth it? NO.. but he juz wanna be wif me.. he has set his mind.. he has realise tt he lkes the one and only me.. no one else is able to replace me in his heart.. but wad is my feelings towards him? juz look at my bo chap attitude.. even he ask me why i m so cold to him.. but i juz donno y i m doing this to him..
not juz this.. thgs i had high hopes abt juz came in the wrong way than i expected.. i tot SOME thgs wld turn out rite.. but did dey? NO.. i as really sad and depressed by the fact tt i put so much hope in tt thg.. but it turn out sooo wrong.. and ppl even tell me to juz be mre understanding.. i cant stand this anymre.. u wan us to try to be mre understanding when u give us lame excuses and give us tt kind of face when we did not do anythg wrong.. wad the crapz..u think doing this to us is smth v fun issit? i had enuff! i juz hate...
while writing this.. my mum is lke scolding me.. telling me off and all tt.. even when i m dwn and juz wanna find someone to tok to.. i cant tok to dem dey juz don understand me.. on top of tt dey r either asking me wad i wan to eat or abt my reasults or nagging and scolding me.. dey nv show any signs of concern.. and i noe.. dey cant be bothered.. coz i rmb i tried telling my mum my probs at the beginning of this yr.. but wad did i get.. i got a v simple and cant-be-bothered reply' dun be sad .. i'll pray for u' tt's all.. i felt so terrible.. she sound as though she did not care for me.. even if my parents did.. dey only care abt my results.. i rmb my dad once said ' no results, no tok' when i had a tiff wif him once.. well.. since u only care abt my results.. suan le bah.. u dun even care abt me.. all u do is nag me arnd and.. i dun wanna sae le.. i m really v sad.. and i can pratically flood my hse wif my tears.. it wld be easy..
i juz wanna run away frm everythg.. yes.. u may sae not juz me.. cathi, ah ma and many mre of my frends are facing a certain kind of prob or sad sad thg in their life rite now.. but for me.. i'm juz another freaking dumb coward.. a dumb gal and a darn useless one.. juz call me a bimbo or good-for-nth bah.. mke thgs easier.. i juz wan those tt r reading this.. tt if one day.. i ever disappeared suddenly.. dun eva bother finding me.. coz it'll be wasting ur time.. u can put it in gd use elsewhere.. haiz..
*sobs to the darn core*
