i dunno. i feel lost. and v v v confused. i'm kinda stuck. but it seems as though i dunnoe how i got stuck and i dunnoe where i am.
*sign*. i 'lost' 1 part of me. or rather 75% of myself. i'm no longer tt happy kid, who can skip my way to sch, thinkin its gonna be a better day. i can no longer luff crazily wif my frends as though it's no one's business. i can't do those anymre. i lost the happy, optimistic, cheerful me. all i'm left, is just my outer being and my meaningless expressions. i'm serious. eva since this yr, everyone's lke pia-ing for exams, everyone's so competitive, so kiasu, so diff frm last time.
i dunno la. seriously. i just feel lost. cuz' i can no longer haf fun lke b4. i mean, i aint happy. i dun feel happy. i feel dead and dry within. boo. double boo. i hate this.
maybe i dun really lke my new class 4I. truthfully, i dun wish to haf fun wif them. i dunno why, but it's lke, i just wanna keep a dist frm dem. so when cathi ask me to go out wif the 4I gerls, there was a loud voice within me shouting 'NO'. argh. i'm weird la. nobody wud get it. i just dun wan anythg to do wif them la. but well, i'm graduating soon, so, juz get out and done wif it. wadeva. i can't be bothered.
and also, i feel i have sorta strayed away frm many of my frends. i'm quite anti-social too. [k, i'm not the jialat case whereby i shun ppl out of my life but smtimes or rather most of the times, i rather be alone, away frm ppl, dun wanna talk to ppl, or even just shun them away. i prefer just i,me,myself wif no one else. i dunno la. i weird. i'm gettin weird. and i'm gettin mre and mre anti-social.
today, i went to watch i not stupid too wif my sch, PHS. comments? IT SUCK! TOTALLY! hey, dun get me wrong.. it's not the movie tt sucked, it's the ambience. PHS has lots and lots of room for improvement. u see, 1st, H.S and a few of my class gerls were sitting on the cabin flr. den neo ah ma was combing her hair, while H.S and the rest were chatting LOUDLY. H.S's sitting posture was very unsightly and i saw 1 female passenger giving them the disgusted face, as if she saw smthg really gross. 2nd, when we went to the cinema theatre, the 4nt ppl were roudy [as according to ah ma], the ppl arnd me were FREAKINGLY noisy, and the sec 2s and 3s definitely dunno how to keep their mouths SHUT! i can't even watch a show in peace, and so now i get it! never watch movies wif a sch. dam freakin pissed. wad's mre? ppl at the back were throwin their rubbish down. their leftover drinks and popcorn, they conveniently + inconsiderately + childishly threw it down. lucky for me, i sat not too front and a gerl sitting 2 sits infront of me kena. and cathi was lke 'orh-bi for tt gerl la, orh-bi, orh-bi.' cuz cathi dun lke her. but, wah liao, tt gerl didn't even do a thg la. it's not her fault and cathi's lke orh-bi, orh-bi. i got quite irritated by her aft tt. so i just simply shut my mouth, gave her tt u-r-ridiculous-mann face and walk away. 3rd, ther's this woman whom i dunno talked to me. i was complaining to ah ma tt the whole lido was damn noisy, thanks to PHS pupils. den this gree-shirt lady approach me while i was gg dwn the escalator. she told me bcuz of the structure of the building cum air particles cum some other factors tts why the area is so noisy. she was telling me all the complicating scientific facts in chinese to me and i was lke huh? wad the hell are you toking. i guess she's looney, cuz she looks looney. den ash ng who was beside me asked me of tt was my frend, i said NO. i asked him the same qns and got the same reply and tt was when i confirmed tt she WAS looney.
wad a fraky day. i wanna go eat my straberry cake now. yummy. tata
