still, i know my limits and i've been balancing time rather badly these days. cause' i don't really like staying at home. i'm always going out and i know my mum ain't exactly happy. i understand that as her daughter, i must spend more time with her but it's just that i don't really like staying at home. *sign* i must do what's right. yup.

it has been such a struggle for me. to change, to stop doing that which is wrong. i can resist but it's just that sometimes i give in. n i noe it's my fault. well, life's full of ups n downs and full of temptations. haha. i must change! i must!

whoo. i feel like going shopping suddenly!!!! i wanna buy this and that and get this this this and that that that. yes! shopping!!!!!

mum was telling me off that day. and what she said affected me so much, i can't stop brooding over it. time n time again i question myself. there was once me and b* went out and i couldn't help but thought of what mum said. he asked me what's wrong. i thought he couldn't see that i was in thoughts and i keep saying nothing nothing. finally after much persuasion, i told him what was on my mind. he was very very patient, ensuring and explaining to me that i needn't be so paranoid, telling me that everythg's gonna be alright. many a times, in our relationship, we were very afraid. afraid that our differences would set us apart and many many more but we always communicated in such a manner, we always felt assured that everythg's gonna be fine.

obviously my parents can't accept him for he had an unpleasant past. i can't blame them but apparently, we don't really put that to heart. yes, they gave me a nasty lot of torture cause' i'm with him but well, just pull thru n walk thru everythg tgt.

i really need eye drops. my eye's always dry n the contacts are giving me problems

i would be shifting out of my house pretty soon i guess. not sure. *shrugs*

i'm getting tired. need to check out some stuffs first. gtg.