the lack of communication never used to affect me so much till this year. the umpteen ups and downs just make me scream, i need a break. yes, i'm not saying people and affecting me but the things that occur due to the presence of people do.
first you and then you. yup.
i hope to resolve the problem with you soon. u're skeptical. i don't know la. somehow, i'm just tired of how events after events occur in a fashion that ain't very pleasing. people stare. people shrug. people shake their heads. i believe u noe what i mean. also, i'm very unsure of.... alot of things between us. i just hope to get a clear answer and move on if there's a need. i believe all these is comprehendable. i don't need me to go into details.
both parties just do not wish to give in. both are stubborn.
stubbornness is a damn real thing. its somewhat caused by an inner feeling, a thug that is a mix of pride and a why-should-I attitude.
for me, its about what i believe in. and yes, please don't get the wrong idea that i'm forcing u to give in. u don't have to give in if u don't wish to. we can just.... nvm. i shall shut my gap.
and for you. well, somehow, its not just about communication. i think between every relationship, be it love, friendship or even parents-child relationship, commitment must be involved. its not just about setting aside time but rather quality time. a thought hit me rather hard a few weeks ago. its a rather long and complicated thing to say here but to the point, we can never have as much time as now. as life goes on more commitments awaits us and we'll get from busy to busier. its about the quality of time and the communication.
i think that everything got worse this year march. somehow, everythg kinda went shaky but we just shrug it off. i too thot everythg kinda got better but i think its just our mundane routine that got us tgt. but, i have this to say, i can see a change in both our lives. we've both changed. its not same but similar. the similarity has brought both good and bad things. though the bad things i feel is not big and very resolvable, i see a need for more communication or else when friction occurs, it might be a nasty experience. i very understand our limits. i also understand what we can be up to.
though as time passed, it has became better but i do see holes in which covering it up is important. lastly, do not let passing problems pass again. it'll resurface one day, and it'll resurface twice the size.
i've partly make a decision. its a very major decision.
all i can say, u're so j***. maybe u aren't but, it all occurred on such a timing. i've decided and i do not need moral support, u comforting words or anything. my parents has caused enough headache too. all i want is a break.
and, i think i'm fine like this. so don't bother me.
it's been long since i last blogged.
i don't think i'll be blogging any sooner from today.
it's not that i'm sick of blogging. but i just need a break. late nights would not be my excuse, it'll be my reason. i won't be bothered if people strt repeating rules to me. i don't break rules without a reason. freedom is not being overexercised, there's a reason for everythg. so, just let me be. one day, i'll share what i meant today.
