i realise daphne's really stressed.
oh wells.
anyway, it's thursday and i'm feeling soooooo dead. hai. seriously, what's wrong with me!
i've been having really bad days. and my temper is also getting worse. gosh. i
ve got to handle my emotions mann. anyw, one block's ending soon. final assignments are killers. feeling really crappy now. duno wad to expect from myself, duno wad to do.
i've been feeling rather doubtful of my own abilities for some reason. kinda lose confidence and hope. i dun think i can do well in my course, but somehow, i wanna push myself to see what i can do outta my hands. whether i'm creative, whether design is just inborn or whether, i just step into the wrong path.
all the self doubts
i really agree on what dap said about friendships. i used to rely on them alot. but after stepping into a new year, 2007, my views changed. there were times when friends close and very very close to me said nasty stuff, either knowingly or unknowingly about me but not to me which hurt me alot. the worse is when it goes in 1 big round and ends up in your ears. it's so hurting and the person does not realise they've hurt u.
i came to realise that thou friends are people whom u thot can trust in your lives, u can never trust anyone totally. well, for me, now, i don't trust many people. not even my parents. they're always snooping around trying to pry into my things which is so damn irritating. it gets on my nerves so much so that my gadgets require passwords and what nots. people may think i'm paranoid but with parents who pry, u'll probably do the same.
anyw, ya, i think friends to me are people whom i can relate very well with. they are people who cheer u on when u're down, and people who understands your preferrences. but as time passes, i am not as open in sharing my secrets and little fears. i've bottled much of my thoughts and i did and went thru alot this year, nobody even my own boyfriend is unaware.
it's good to keep thgs to myself actually. that's my point of view. at least you know no one goes around toking about it.
anyhoos, my hands are getting itchy. um.. kinda feeling lke drinking something of alcohol.. haha... well well... prob i'll go to a lounge or a bar some day alone... need that quiet and soothing atmosphere for better thinking.
lol
next month's time table : 12-3, com di
um... shud i add?
yawns. goodnites
