its really over...
after tonight's chat, i realise... des has got no intentions of a patch up...
it's really not his fault and please don't make judgements based on what i type.
i really blame myself for my stupidity. i really messed things up big time. but nonetheless, i am still glad des agreed on one thing..
i wanna apologise for all that i've done that hurt u in a way or another these 1 year 3 months. it has been the most wonderful time in my life and i know for sure, you have been such an impact, u will never be replaced. you have been the most romantic guy though u claim u're not. all the sweet little things u did just to see me smile was all i needed to make my day fantastic. u noe... the sweetest thing about u... is that you remember almost everthing i like. from chilli cheese fries to wad kind of stuff i want for my macdonalds fries to the fact i hate mayo, to wad i only like when i step into long johns to asking me if i want this or that when we go certain places... u remember everything i told u and u were the most easy going person i met.
ur little comments, to ur smiles, to the little red heart u gave me, to the laptop bag... i treasure them all. remember ur trip to thailand? u swore never to leave me cause u missed me so much when u went there, u ended up with a bad tummy. and how about chalet, and all that night cycling? all our silly plans for the future and how i told u pregnancy was way too scary for me to handle. well, thanks for always taking the blame when u knew it was mine and when i apologise, all u did was its ok and gave me a reassuring hug.
thanks for the extra mile u went to pass me the laptop when i needed. thanks for putting up with my gazillion nonsense. thanks for being understanding, thanks for going through so much with me... all the parents issue, all the encouragement. we been through alot and it's sucha pity it was gone. thanks to me, dumbass!
well.. it's a clean break up.
in other words... ah.. like wad's there to explain. clean is the opposite of dirty and break up the opposite of get together. if u're a stupid dumbass try asking me wad's clean break up.
u noe how it feels like to hear for urself that. oh well. i heard it. i felt like a gunshot in the chest. just that it hadn't killed me. like it should. ah. wad the crap.
i understand u did all these for me. but seriously, have u considered my feelings? all these were based on YOUR imagination, YOUR thinking, YOUR feelings. how about mine?
honestly, u felt u were nv good enough. but i seriously don't think so. slap my big mouth. u just won't forgive wad i said. ah. i don't see why u should think so lowly of yourself. to add on, u're like one of the best guys i met in my life. but oh well, wad can i say? sorry? u would say not u, its me. then u will rant on about all your bad bad side. hey, i seriously don't see that as a prob la. but anyway, i promised no bugging u abt this. so ok. i won't type anymore.
i am v glad kaeting is happy once more.
the feeling is definitely over the moon.
i rejoice with her. really. i think her bf really love her for who she is... and that's what really matters..
i, though kinda regretful, bears the consequences of my actions, i do them knowing i learnt a painful lesson.
after all these, i grew up. and i realise... many things about myself.
I WISH ALL HAPPINESS
pearlyn loves her pillow. cause they never betrayed me.
