i miss chats over phone.
school's starting in... 10 hours and 15 mins approx.
it's sooo sian
i feel the urge of... talking to u*
hahaha.
i know even if i wanna tok to u, u wun pick it up. even if i send a text u wun reply. even if u picked up or reply my msg, u would try to shoo me off by saying, u're quite busy or u scared about phone bills....
i know coldness is unavoidable.
even when i really just needed someone..
to listen to me...
to let me feel better...
i know that wun happen...
so... me being a clever girl who predicts the future does the right thing...
i... talk to mua, mua is me, me is i, i is myself, myself is...
i tend to feel most of the times, i can't tok to ppl at times. it's like, i know bestie won't just pick up my call and listen to me talk and talk and not feel weird. i know he* won't just pick up the phone and talk like normal friends or just lke before, cause' once again, it's weird...
i'm sooo lost suddenly.
it's not school blues but... i duno how to face the fact that i've to start to bottle up what i wanna say when i need to talk to someone.
i'm glad God's always there.
the thought of that makes me relieve.
and at the same time... well, i kinda learn to trust.
well.... lately a lot of things dawn on me... making me realise things i didn't notice... making me a little bit fearful and all...
booo.... actually... i dun feel like blogging but i blog so that you've got smth to read.
so you must appreciate. yes, appreciate with a grateful heart.
ps: my teddy reads my blog posts. he actually reads it fresh, cause' he sits near me when i blog.
----
i wanna tok abt smth that is not so gloomy woomy. i wanna be happy. i dun wanna be sad.
ok, dap told me she saw the gladiators i want, retailing at 35bucks. OH MY, real steal!!! soo many shops i've visited sell it at above 60? -squeal ppl!- but, dap to the rescue, she found... the shop!!! i shall track it down.
WHOOPie
and today's class was not as tiring as yest.
yest was pure physical tolerance.
i had to endure long hours but that, i can endure.
yest class was one that goes teacher pearlyn...!! teacher pearlyn...!!! like non stop.
so was the friday's class.
the kids were like frantically pulling me to their seats or shouting or tapping my shoulder or playing with my hair or bubbling around me...
i was running everywhere.
"teacher pearlyn, u know my bro/sis/dad/mum/grandma...."
"teacher pearlyn, listen to me, teacher pearlyn, -teh- teacher, did u hear what i say...?"
kids oh kids. they are little people of energy.
they are what lit my day, they make me smile alot, they make me angry, they make me scream, they make me understand PATIENCE
i can handle a class of screaming kids yelling for me at different times, wanting attention and complete my task while entertaining them.
somehow... ironic as it sounds, i don't want to have a kid on my own. maybe it's the mentality of a young adult/ teen. mayb i'll grow outta it. but for now, my mentality is just no kids please!
i dun find them a chore. wait, i do but the sole reason besides birth pain is, i think i'm not a very responsible person.
i'm the kind of person who can forget i've got a poor dog at home at times.
or the kind of person who goes, oh shit, i forgot to feed my hamster, ah, nvm, it's so small, i don't think it needs to eat so much.
i know that's v evil. but relax, i've got no pets at home, unless u're toking about my dad's fishes and my bro's hamster.
ok. i've typed alot..
i guess i shall go and have a rest.
i miss long chats over phone.
i miss the feeling of chatting till i sleep.
i think the feeling is quite nice.
cause' i like to talk alot?
and to talk to sleep...
is like so...
nice. ya. nice.
hahah. ok, tts how limited my vocab gets. so ya, nice is a good word.
toodles.
