Now I understand that some mistakes are not pardonable with time.
SOme grievances and bite marks last a lifetime.
Be it be just so little, a pebble that caused you to stumble, why can't some people overlook other people's mistakes they commited years ago and just try to embrace them with trust
I understand what it means that the people you love the most hurts you the most....
sign.
you'll prob be wondering what am I talking about and what is this issue of trust about. I shan't breathe a word about it anymore but I'll always bear this in mind.
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Oh well.
Everyone has grown apart. Everyone has grown up..
I wanna hang out with my friends again on a regular basis like how we used to when we were in secondary school. I miss the times when I can really throw aside the mask I put on and just eat what I craved for and do the things that best tickle me with joy.
The mask I put on is a mask I am forced to wear. I can't take it down. I will be put down for that.
Don't pity me for this, for one day, everyone would understand that kind of a fake front you have to put on.
Infront of your superiors and clients, people you meet and people you regard as 'friends'. life's a torture with that, but I still try to just smile under the mask.
I don't like internship. I don't like my work. I don't like to talk in a properly-measured-and-tailoured manner. I don't like to laugh professionally at the right jokes at the right time. I don't like to put on that fake front that is just so not me.
I don't like to wear office skirts and carry laptop around. I don't like to look convincing to others when I am not convinced myself...
I just want to do something I love. something genuinely me. To just design and be part of the behind the scenes work that does not require me to be what i am now.
This week is sucha bad week. Let me just drown in my sadness a little before I surface up to forget what I was in.
Goodbye world
